Taking Care of You aka The Dwindling Roll

I have read often during parenting and just for life in general that one needs to invest in "self care". That if you don't take care of you, who will take care of them? (and them can refer to children, parents, other family members, friends, etc) That you can't fill from an empty cup. That in case of an air emergency, put on your own mask first before assisting others.

I used to dread the term "self care". I'm still not real fond of it. However, if you are going to help others with their care, you deserve to give yourself at least (if not more) than what you are willing/required to give away to others. Yes. DESERVE.

BUT what does that look like? HOW does one take time in an already filled, overwhelmed feeling of a day FIND time to take? I have never been walking around when a yellow cup, air bag and strap magically appear in front of me making me aware or reminding me of the need to put on said mask before assisting others. Usually, by the time I remember or take notice, I am well into assisting others without putting on my mask first!

For the days you don't remember, I have found a reminder that will be in front of you every day. You will notice it slipping away as it is used up AND if like at my house, YOU will be replacing it when it is empty/used up. What is this wondrous bit of knowledge? Have you guessed?

Toilet paper!

DISCLAIMER: I am preaching to myself with this post as well as I am far from reaching where I should be with my own self care. However, journaling, blogging and support of others I'm finding is part of my self care. We gotta start somewhere, sometime. Might as well be here....and now.

In this example, we start out as a full roll. I purchase by the square feet on the package and MUST be 2 ply. Bigger rolls = less times I have to change it out!

Lesson: Start out in the best "big roll 2 ply" condition you can: good sleep, fully hydrated, fed, medicated (if necessary), exercise (if you can't find 10 minutes now, will you find it when you are sick?), listen to music to get you moving, find something that makes you laugh and something to be grateful for

Approaching used up, mask dropping phase. Time to be careful. Your spare a square is running low. Keep some for you! Try and avoid the desperate cry for more while in a somewhat precarious balancing act!

Lesson: NOTICE when you are getting used up. Time to have a spare roll available on back up (accept help if people offer. ASK if necessary). The more people that are counting on us, the faster we disappear. Use those last few squares (actually, real paper probably works better for this) to write down a list of activities that may not take a lot of time, but make you feel better. This list comes in handy for when you are entering the land of Overwhelm. You won't need to THINK of something to do on top of already feeling stressed out.

Uh oh! Empty roll. No paper left. The mask is swinging around wildly in front of you. Now what?

Lesson: DON'T feel guilty about getting drained/used up/overwhelmed. It happens sometimes without us noticing. We are slowly slipping away in the hustle and bustle of life. Don't seek an hour, take 5 minutes to sit somewhere and take a deep breath. Let it out. Repeat.

Notice it's time to replace the empty roll....and start the whole cycle again!

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If you are here and you have not felt like a full roll in awhile, it is never to late to start doing things a bit differently to have a different tomorrow.

There are numerous resources about self care available online and books. If you can't think of some activities that will help, look some up to start a list.  Keep the list in a visible spot so when you can grab a few minutes you don't have to think of something that helps. 

Self care doesn't mean by yourself. If you have not "peopled" (been around anyone other than your child(ren), people depending on you), find a way to get out and about....especially if there is sunshine available!

Get out of the habit of saying there isn't enough time. We might be looking for a significant chunk of time and we should plan for those, but do not overlook the small moments of joy available in a day. I have learned to say that taking time sitting with a cat on my lap is lowering my blood pressure. ;)

Personally, my best self care is spending time alone with God. Praying. Reading the Bible...not a book about the Bible. I don't do it enough. When I do, I am never disappointed and always reminded that I do not have to do life on my own. You don't either.

1 Peter 5:7 (NLT) Give all your worries and cares to God, for he cares about you.

Matthew 11:28 (NLT) Then Jesus said, “Come to me, all of you who are weary and carry heavy burdens, and I will give you rest.

"It" Happens

I've been putting off writing. I've been putting off lots of things actually. I've been getting by. I even know why...now....finally? OR I'm just willing to admit it to myself, again. The thoughts of this post have been rattling around in my head. I procrastinate. I put it off. I think it will go away. It hasn't....so here goes.

Life has a lot of crap. I want to use the other word, but I'll keep it PG....and it ties into my point...so I'll leave it at crap. Sometimes Crap! with a Capital C. Sometimes it all happens at once. Sometimes it trickles so you really don't notice at first until you feel like you're in that creek with no paddle. Floating. Honestly? Who wants to just float? I want to fix it. To be in control. To get out of the boat, the creek. I want to MOVE ON. I want it handled.

My problem? It's heavy and I'm weak. Here is an example the best way I can state it.

We have cats. Too many cats. They eat. They crap. We scoop. We bag it up and throw it away. We don't hold on to it. It stinks! I would never GIVE that bag to anyone else to hold on to. Not even somebody I really don't care for. Why would I give it to somebody I claim to love?

Stuff happens. Too much stuff happens. It's messy. We bag it up....and carry it around. No wonder we get tired, anxious, crabby, etc. WHY?

God has offered to carry our burdens. Heavy as they may be. Messy as they are. I KNOW that. In my heart. On a good day, even in my head.

Once again, I have put human qualities on God's sovereignty.

He wants ALL of it. The good. The bad. The ugly. The messy. The things I would NEVER give or expect anyone else to handle. The things that if I would just put down...He will pick up.

What kind of crap have you been carrying around? Are you ready to give it up?

1 Peter 5:6-7 (NIV)
6 Humble yourselves, therefore, under God’s mighty hand, that he may lift you up in due time. 7 Cast all your anxiety on him because he cares for you.

Dear God,

Thank you so much that you know and understand us better than we can ever comprehend. Help us to know in our hearts and heads that when we give up control it gives you the chance to work in our lives. Help us not to hang on to our messes. Thank you that when we put them down you can and will carry our burdens. 

Amen

Sneaky?!?!?!

Sneaky!?!? Maybe not so much....IF you know what to look for:

1 Peter 5:7-9 (NIV) 7 Cast all your anxiety on him because he cares for you. 8 Be alert and of sober mind. Your enemy the devil prowls around like a roaring lion looking for someone to devour. 9 Resist him, standing firm in the faith, because you know that the family of believers throughout the world is undergoing the same kind of sufferings. 

It seems that it would be more than likely that if we saw or heard a roaring lion prowling around that we would pay attention. However, usually before the lion roars....he has been prowling around waiting for an opportune time to pounce.

I am finding in my own life that I blame an awful lot of stuff on myself, depression, family members and their attitudes and just life in general.  

How many of our daily battles are actually spiritual? If even Jesus could be tempted in the wilderness by the devil, why would we think that it would be any different for us mere mortals? It seems that as we try to move closer to God the more the devil stirs things up. We have been trying to make more efforts at family time and making sure we get to church. At the same time, we have had more rental problems than ever.

Have you ever got in an argument over something (in hindsight) that is really dumb? However, no matter how much you want to you just don't give in. People joke around about the "devil made me do it". That may not be the reason WHY we do it. Sometimes, though, doesn't it seem that circumstances will try and hold you back the more you try to move forward and follow through on what God is trying to get our attention for?

James 4:7-8 Submit yourselves, then, to God. Resist the devil, and he will flee from you. Come near to God and he will come near to you.

Resist has a couple of different meanings, but in this case I like this:  to withstand the force or effect of

The devil may be sneaky and can have some effect on us....or at least the circumstances. It is up to us to recognize the tricks for what they are and remember that ultimately God is in control, even when we feel like we're in control the least.

EneME

Enemy: one that is antagonistic to another; especially : one seeking to injure, overthrow, or confound an opponent (Merriam-Webster)

"We have met the enemy and he is us" Walt Kelly

I'm thinking lately of all the things and excuses that I have let stand in my way of getting to where I want to be....or better yet, where God wants me to be. The dictionary definition refers to being antagonistic to another. However, I am coming to the conclusion that sometimes I become overly disappointed with myself. I am my own worst enemy...hence the eneME.

Eventually (I would like to say that it is taking less and less time, but still a work in progress), I start to realize that I am not as content. My feelings start to rule, and I start to believe that it's easier to give up then continue to fight. It takes courage to face our discouragement.

I have definitely noticed though that what I focus on can be used against me. When I get too busy to take time for devotions or I listen too much to music that doesn't lift me up, I start feeling like I'm losing the battle. The enemy starts to win and gains ground. Thankfully, God loves me (and you) too much to leave us alone to fight this battle.

^{Psalm 31:8 (NIV)} You have not handed me over to the enemy but have set my feet in a spacious place.

The battle for our mind is ongoing.  We need to remember and keep reminding ourselves that we already have an enemy pursuing us.  Resist and stand firm.  Realize that God helps us fight ALL enemies....even the one within ourselves.  

^{1 Peter 5:7-9 (NIV) 7}Cast all your anxiety on him because he cares for you.

 ⁸Be self-controlled and alert. Your enemy the devil prowls around like a roaring lion looking for someone to devour. ⁹Resist him, standing firm in the faith, because you know that your brothers throughout the world are undergoing the same kind of sufferings.