Finally found a way to describe it.....pain...and joy

Jeremiah 31:13 (NIV) Then maidens will dance and be glad, young men and old as well. I will turn their mourning into gladness; I will give them comfort and joy instead of sorrow.

Let's face it, sometimes OK maybe a lot of times, emotions suck (for lack of a better term). Especially the down ones. It is SO easy to get overwhelmed and let emotions and feelings run over logic that things will more than likely be better tomorrow. Sometimes a nap is necessary. I knew that things were starting to crowd in on me again. I've ignored it. Worked around it. Found other things to do....but the feelings nagged on. A lot of the sadness I've been feeling isn't really even MY sadness. I've been surrounded by things affecting other people that I feel sad about.....and in a round about way guilty because deep down I think I feel relieved it's not me going through it.

This evening I finally found a nice seat on some tree roots while hubby was out with kids in the boat. It was a nice area with trees all around and no houses. Not a lot of noise other than the occasional boat buzzing by. I enjoyed looking at rocks/pebbles and the varying shapes and colors and how firm they are. I finally let myself breathe and feel. And I found a good way to describe it......

At Michigan Adventure in the kids area or at most water parks, there is the big bucket of water that eventually tips and everybody standing under it gets wet. It takes a little while to fill (those constant feelings filling the bucket), the bell sounds (overwhelming feeling), and the bucket tips (the tears fall).

I also came to the conclusion that maybe we experience pain so we appreciate joy. Through the pain, we can remind ourselves that God IS STILL God, even in the middle of the darkest times. I once heard that when we go through fire, God doesn't leave us there and go wait on the other side. He walks through the fire with us.

Many times our pain does have purpose. Pain and sadness can bring people together to support each other. We can't always see the purpose at the time. A lot of times the purpose becomes clearer in hindsight.

May we not try to avoid or ignore pain, but be aware of how we can lean on God through it. Get past the emotion and on to the fact that we are loved beyond our imagination.

Psalm 46:10 "Be still, and know that I am God; I will be exalted among the nations, I will be exalted in the earth."

Focus....where's yours? Push through and look up.

Sunday I had another right time right place moment.

I have been feeling REALLY stressed out. At my Friday appt. we scheduled surgery for the end of the month. Transportation issues. Lack of/poor use of time. Son has not been feeling well and trying to figure out why. Tonight, the toilet overflowed for no apparent reason and is bubbling up when I run the washer....ahhh life! I'm sure your list could compare or even top mine.

The van acted up on the way to church. I was already running late (suprise, not!). I was bound and determined to get there as I feel like I'm running on empty....and not just the gas tank! I drove slower and through parking lots, but I finally got there.

The sermon? How to Listen to a Spirit. The Holy Spirit rarely screams to get our attention. It's more like a constant hum that's there if we listen, but it's easily overcome and drowned out by the tune of everyday life issues. Sometimes it is through the counsel of a trusted person.

After the service, there was a "healing service". Hmmm...just wrote about that I believe. I usually do not seek out assistance (ie: ask for help). I am working on it, but normally I am really bad at it. I felt kind of guilty as I had my little laundry list of stuff going on. I was prayed for: peace for upcoming surgery and watching son feel bad and not knowing what to do, blessings for the drs, we even prayed for the van! I wasn't instantly healed (and neither was the van...should be covered by warranty), but that big bag of worries felt a little lighter and I had a more peaceful feeling. For a few moments, I focused on the fix instead of the problem.

Now I'm thinking about focus and where mine has been. I have been focusing on the problems/mountains. I also believe the devil works overtime on keeping our focus ON the problem/circumstances so we are less effective in God's kingdom.

Psalm 121 (NIV) 1 I look up to the mountains—does my help come from there? 2 My help comes from the Lord, who made heaven and earth! 3 He will not let you stumble; the one who watches over you will not slumber. 4 Indeed, he who watches over Israel never slumbers or sleeps. 5 The Lord himself watches over you! The Lord stands beside you as your protective shade. 6 The sun will not harm you by day, nor the moon at night. 7 The Lord keeps you from all harm and watches over your life. 8 The Lord keeps watch over you as you come and go, both now and forever.

I need to look higher than the mountains. My help will come from God. My focus needs to be where my help will come from....not looking and worrying about how big the problems seem. God is bigger than all of them! BUT I need to be willing to get quiet and focus.

Psalm 46 : 10 (NIV) "Be still, and know that I am God; I will be exalted among the nations, I will be exalted in the earth."

Push through, look up and keep listening and watching for answers. Often, the answers will come in ways you never anticipated.