Many years ago as a youth group leader, I made a comment. It wasn't even something I planned
to say. It just came out. I had been hanging around teenagers enough to
understand the relationship (or lack of) between parents and teens a
bit better. A lot of them have pretty good relationships with their
parents....up until they hit puberty or a bit after. Then the teen
starts to put some distance between himself/herself and the parents.
Sometimes the parents are not ready to give them the freedom they think
they deserve. (Think rewards without the responsibilities!) Mostly,
rightfully so, but it was difficult to get teens to see that.
One
night I made the comment that the Bible talks about God being our
"Heavenly Father". Sometimes, especially if you don't have the greatest
relationship with your earthly dad that reference can be a barrier of
someone getting to know God better.
Afterwards, one of
the girls came up and said she was glad I had said that as that is how
she felt. She didn't have a good relationship with her dad. I didn't
know that when I said it. I'm almost positive now that I'm older that
she is not the only one that had a bad relationship or no dad in the
picture.
I have realized that we carry a bit of our
parents around with us. Both the good and the bad. The bad can be a bit
more difficult to let go. Things our parents said to us when we were
younger can rumble around in our head and pop up when we're dealing with
a similar situation with our own children. If we're not careful, some
of that comes out even though we swore to ourselves we'd never do/say
that with our kids.
As a kid, it is hard to understand
that our parents don't know everything. We expect them to. We are born
right in the middle of their income earning years. They may be dealing
with us and their own parents. They may not have had the best
relationship with their own parents. As a teen, it is hard to realize
that in most cases, our parents are trying to do the best they can with
what they know....or learn along the way.
Bad dads is not
a new concept. There are even bad fathers IN the Bible. There was a man
that messed up even before he became a father (Adam). There was a
father that played favorites (Jacob with Joseph). There was a man who
became a father by messing around with another man's wife and sending
that man purposely into war to be killed (David). The Bible is a
genealogy of fathers, of Kings, and Kings that were fathers. Some were
good, not all were.
If we can bring ourselves to get
past the issues with our human fathers, God gives us the opportunity to
be adopted into His family with a perfect Father. For some, it may be
quite a stretch to get to that point. I just submit to you to be willing
to open your heart a little. I'm not promising it will be easy or
perfect. I am promising it is worth getting to know a Heavenly Daddy
that has been waiting for you with open arms.
Psalm 68:5 (NIV) A father to the fatherless, a defender of widows, is God in his holy dwelling.
Psalm 103:8-19 (NIV)
The Lord is compassionate and gracious,
slow to anger, abounding in love.
9 He will not always accuse,
nor will he harbor his anger forever;
10 he does not treat us as our sins deserve
or repay us according to our iniquities.
11 For as high as the heavens are above the earth,
so great is his love for those who fear him;
12 as far as the east is from the west,
so far has he removed our transgressions from us.
13 As a father has compassion on his children,
so the Lord has compassion on those who fear him;
14 for he knows how we are formed,
he remembers that we are dust.
15 The life of mortals is like grass,
they flourish like a flower of the field;
16 the wind blows over it and it is gone,
and its place remembers it no more.
17 But from everlasting to everlasting
the Lord’s love is with those who fear him,
and his righteousness with their children’s children—
18 with those who keep his covenant
and remember to obey his precepts.
19 The Lord has established his throne in heaven,
and his kingdom rules over all.
Isaiah 9:6 (NIV)
For to us a child is born,
to us a son is given,
and the government will be on his shoulders.
And he will be called
Wonderful Counselor, Mighty God,
Everlasting Father, Prince of Peace.
Isaiah 64:8 (NIV)
Yet you, Lord, are our Father.
We are the clay, you are the potter;
we are all the work of your hand.
Matthew 7:11 (NIV) If
you, then, though you are evil, know how to give good gifts to your
children, how much more will your Father in heaven give good gifts to those who ask him!
Romans
8:14-17 (NIV) For those who are led by the Spirit of God are the
children of God. 15 The Spirit you received does not make you slaves, so
that you live in fear again; rather, the Spirit you received brought
about your adoption to sonship. And by him we cry, “Abba, Father.” 16
The Spirit himself testifies with our spirit that we are God’s children.
17 Now if we are children, then we are heirs—heirs of God and co-heirs
with Christ, if indeed we share in his sufferings in order that we may
also share in his glory.
Ephesians 1:17 (NIV) I keep asking
that the God of our Lord Jesus Christ, the glorious Father, may give you
the Spirit of wisdom and revelation, so that you may know him better.
Ephesians 6:4 (NIV) Fathers, do not exasperate your children; instead,
bring them up in the training and instruction of the Lord.
James
1:17 Every good and perfect gift is from above, coming down from the
Father of the heavenly lights, who does not change like shifting
shadows.
