Say what you mean....ASK!

Feeling kind of bummed.  Watching a special on PBS - ADD and Loving It.  It is about Adult ADD (Attention Deficit Disorder).  While I understand it, I don't always like it.  I love people, don't get me wrong.  It can just be frustrating to figure out where ADD (ADHD) starts.....and ends.  My brain doesn't always (rarely) thinks outside the box.  My family frequently lives outside the box.  Our brains are different.  Not better, not worse....just different.  AND I've been dealing with it for so long that sometimes I forget to use what works. 

I have been recently reminded to remember to probe around a situation that starts to get sticky.  I need to remember to ask about the thought process....or end result.  There is usually more to the story.  Actually, this is not only good advice for ADD.  It is great for kids (and some adults, smile) in general.

I think one of the best examples I can think of involves wings.  Costume wings for Halloween to be exact.  More years ago than I care to admit, my daughter asked me to make wings for a costume.  She picked awesome shimmery material.  I bent coat hangers.  Hand stitched the material around the hangers.  They turned out pretty awesome....if I do say so myself.  She liked them very much.  Costume party date for school approaches.  I come to help for the party.  She will NOT put on the wings.

I do the typical parent things.  Put them on says I.  No says she.  Back and forth.  This is really dumb as I look back on it, but I start to worry about the other kids will be wearing their costumes and she'll be walking around in her regular clothes.  What will other parents think?  Her mom is AT the party and her daughter's not wearing a costume, what's up with that?  

Finally, we're in the bathroom where kids were changing.  I ask WHY she doesn't want to wear them. She tells me she doesn't want to wear them.....because it had been raining and they might get wrecked. 

She is very black and white.  I have numerous shades of gray.  This has caused many clashes in our family.
I need to start asking why or what the thoughts are BEFORE I think she is just being defiant.  I need to realize that the extra time spent finding out more about the thought process actually saves time from frustration when we are both working toward different goals.  Also there are many times I am more worried about what others will think than about how she feels.

Lots to work on, but even just writing this out helps me remember that the frustration passes.  Sometimes we will be working toward the same thing, but there will be many times we will not.  How I choose to handle is going to a big part of how she learns to deal with other people.  Work in progress.....always.  Keep learning.  Remembering that at all times, love covers many family issues.....even ADD.

What would YOU ask for?

Matthew 7:7 "Ask and it will be given to you; seek and you will find; knock and the door will be opened to you. (NIV)

At Christmas time, we think of giving and getting gifts. We may or may not get what we ask for. Sometimes it costs too much or we can't find the requested item. We may have a hard time asking for what we need. Maybe it's not a gift. Maybe we wish we could have a different quality about our personality or something that is not a "thing". It is not really something somebody can give us. Then what?

Seeking God is wise. It makes sense. How come it seems so easy to go our own way, but then we look back and realize if we would have made God part of the process the way would have been easier?

What if God himself asked you what you wanted? What an amazing thought! It could be ANYTHING! Would we be smart enough to ask for a virtue (a commendable quality or trait) and not a thing? David's son, Solomon, was asked that question....and he picked wisdom (ability to discern inner qualities and relationships/good sense)!

1 Kings 3: 5 That night the Lord appeared to Solomon in a dream, and God said, “What do you want? Ask, and I will give it to you!” 6 Solomon replied, “You showed faithful love to your servant my father, David, because he was honest and true and faithful to you. And you have continued your faithful love to him today by giving him a son to sit on his throne. 7 “Now, O Lord my God, you have made me king instead of my father, David, but I am like a little child who doesn’t know his way around. 8 And here I am in the midst of your own chosen people, a nation so great and numerous they cannot be counted! 9 Give me an understanding heart so that I can govern your people well and know the difference between right and wrong. For who by himself is able to govern this great people of yours?”
10 The Lord was pleased that Solomon had asked for wisdom. 11 So God replied, “Because you have asked for wisdom in governing my people with justice and have not asked for a long life or wealth or the death of your enemies—12 I will give you what you asked for! I will give you a wise and understanding heart such as no one else has had or ever will have! 13 And I will also give you what you did not ask for—riches and fame! No other king in all the world will be compared to you for the rest of your life! 14 And if you follow me and obey my decrees and my commands as your father, David, did, I will give you a long life.”
15 Then Solomon woke up and realized it had been a dream. (NLT)

It may have been a dream, but Solomon did become known as the wisest man who ever lived. He governed with understanding and wrote many Proverbs that we still refer back to today. He got what he asked for and even more!

Psalm 37:4 Delight yourself in the LORD and he will give you the desires of your heart. (NIV)

What are the desires of your heart? God still offers us the ability to ask.

Ask, seek, knock....God, Thanks for opening the door and letting me ask for what I need. Today, my top need is _______.