Tears

Hubby and I are journeying on a new road as of Sunday. We have been married 26+ years. We have experienced highs and lows. Sometimes in the opposite order. Sometimes for extended periods of time. We have experienced the joys of our children, the miscarriage of a child, the death of grandparents and pets that have felt like family members, but not until Sunday have we experienced the death of one of our parents.

We are so grateful that at the ages we are that we have been blessed to have all of our parents for as long as we have. We know many children that have not been able to have parents in their lives as long. We know parents that miss their children and that ALWAYS seems way too early.

Sometimes death creeps up unexpectedly or comes crashing into our lives quickly.We were blessed to have some warning so that we had time to take for some special memories to be created and later remembered. We had a chance to say I love you, goodbye and we'll see you again someday. We know too often that we always think there will be a next day and then one day, there isn't.

I'm sure, eventually, we will find a new normal. BUT right now, there are tears. Happy and sad.

There will be tears that will be accompanied by laughter because we will remember one of the many times we shared laughter or near the end, an eye roll when words just couldn't (or shouldn't) be said at that time.

There will be tears that will tear our heart apart.

There will be tears when we pick up the phone to call and we realize we can still talk just in a different way.

There will be tears that fall down our face like gentle rain and tears that will gush like a waterfall just because.

There will be tears of sadness as a memory crosses our mind and we realize there will be no more new memories. They will become tears of gladness as we realize we are grateful for the memories we have.

There will be tears as we realize that there will be others that will pass and we don't know when or how and we don't know how we will even begin to handle all of that. There will be tears as we realize it is a blessing to not need to know the future it is enough to know WHO holds our futures.

There will be a day when the tears don't come as often. We'll be able to mention and talk about our loved one with less tears and we will smile at the memories and thoughts that they bring to mind.

Life will never be the same, but our lives are changed because of the time we had together and eventually we will smile through the tears.

John 11:35 (NIV) Jesus wept.

Psalm 126:5-6 (NLT) Those who plant in tears will harvest with shouts of joy.They weep as they go to plant their seed, but they sing as they return with the harvest.

Revelation 21:4 (NIV) ‘He will wipe every tear from their eyes. There will be no more death or mourning or crying or pain, for the old order of things has passed away.”