Friday, July 31, 2009

Finally found a way to describe it.....pain...and joy

Jeremiah 31:13 (NIV) Then maidens will dance and be glad, young men and old as well. I will turn their mourning into gladness; I will give them comfort and joy instead of sorrow.

Let's face it, sometimes OK maybe a lot of times, emotions suck (for lack of a better term). Especially the down ones. It is SO easy to get overwhelmed and let emotions and feelings run over logic that things will more than likely be better tomorrow. Sometimes a nap is necessary. I knew that things were starting to crowd in on me again. I've ignored it. Worked around it. Found other things to do....but the feelings nagged on. A lot of the sadness I've been feeling isn't really even MY sadness. I've been surrounded by things affecting other people that I feel sad about.....and in a round about way guilty because deep down I think I feel relieved it's not me going through it.

This evening I finally found a nice seat on some tree roots while hubby was out with kids in the boat. It was a nice area with trees all around and no houses. Not a lot of noise other than the occasional boat buzzing by. I enjoyed looking at rocks/pebbles and the varying shapes and colors and how firm they are. I finally let myself breathe and feel. And I found a good way to describe it......

At Michigan Adventure in the kids area or at most water parks, there is the big bucket of water that eventually tips and everybody standing under it gets wet. It takes a little while to fill (those constant feelings filling the bucket), the bell sounds (overwhelming feeling), and the bucket tips (the tears fall).

I also came to the conclusion that maybe we experience pain so we appreciate joy. Through the pain, we can remind ourselves that God IS STILL God, even in the middle of the darkest times. I once heard that when we go through fire, God doesn't leave us there and go wait on the other side. He walks through the fire with us.

Many times our pain does have purpose. Pain and sadness can bring people together to support each other. We can't always see the purpose at the time. A lot of times the purpose becomes clearer in hindsight.

May we not try to avoid or ignore pain, but be aware of how we can lean on God through it. Get past the emotion and on to the fact that we are loved beyond our imagination.

Psalm 46:10 "Be still, and know that I am God; I will be exalted among the nations, I will be exalted in the earth."

Sunday, July 12, 2009

Death and/or Dying

2 Peter 3:8-10 (NIV) 8 But do not forget this one thing, dear friends: With the Lord a day is like a thousand years, and a thousand years are like a day. 9 The Lord is not slow in keeping his promise, as some understand slowness. He is patient with you, not wanting anyone to perish, but everyone to come to repentance. 10 But the day of the Lord will come like a thief. The heavens will disappear with a roar; the elements will be destroyed by fire, and the earth and everything in it will be laid bare.

I've been thinking about this for a little while...and putting it off. It's not a nice subject....death/dying. Well I guess dying would come first. Funny thing is I kind of started thinking about it because of Michael Jackson's death and all the media attention. Not because I'm all that much of a fan. Sure, I'm a kid of the 80's and the sequin glove, etc. WAS a big part of growing up. I guess it was more because of ALL the attention. Sure, he did some good things with his life and money...didn't always seem that happy, but still some good things. "The King of Pop"

BUT there are LOTS of good people with good intentions that do things everyday that are noteworthy but not noticed. AND there are lots of people that when they pass on will not get all the attention they deserve. Chalk it up to some of the unfairness of life I suppose.

Tonight though I think I found out why I had waited. Before this would have just sounded like a rant about Michael Jackson. I found the complete opposite (thanks to a mom on carepages site). Her son died of cancer. He was 12. She recently posted this website: I downloaded and listened to the audio. The lady gives an awesome testimony. She did not win her battle. She died July 2 of this year. She was a mom to 2 young kids and a wife and a friend, etc. She gives much info to think about and one of the best explanations I think I've heard of why we need a saving relationship through Jesus.

She will not hit the papers or even TV probably outside of her town in Canada. She will not be known as the queen of anything. She reminded me though of a way to live life because truly we're all dying everyday some people just have a better indication of when that might be.

I've been thinking about it anyway, but tonight I finally shared with my husband and said it out loud: I'm not afraid of death because I know where I'll go, but I am afraid of the dying part. Mostly because of fear of the unknown.

I pray this is not too much of a downer for you. However, I'm believing that in a dark world we need to shine light as much as possible. This lady's video/audio presentation does that. You can't keep news like that to yourself.