Roller Coaster...of emotions

Feelings.....whoa, whoa, f-e-e-l-i-n-g-s......

As far as I know, you will not find this roller coaster at any theme park. It's so scary, I don't think many would willingly get on it.....let alone pay to ride it.....and yet we do.....every....day.

Emotions have taken on such a stigma in our culture. Kids that wear too much black....or all black are called "emo" :(  Maybe they just like black....or maybe they are working through something in life and that's how they deal with it.

I know what emotions can be, but I don't recall ever looking it up...so thanks to Webster's: emotion: a conscious mental reaction (as anger or fear) subjectively experienced as strong feeling usually directed toward a specific object and typically accompanied by physiological and behavioral changes in the body 

???? ummm I'm not sure that cleared anything up for me. Until I looked up the word subjective and found the word perception. Makes sense, right? How we see the roller coaster...even if we decide to ride it....is based on our perceptions of what has happened to us or around us in the past.

We move further and further away from "feeling" our feelings. We get in such a hurry that we don't stop to think about WHY we might be feeling that way.  I'm finding out the hard way. You can't tell somebody else not to feel a certain way about something. It is their emotion and feeling. It is based on their perception of what is going on. Same as us. I can't tell myself not to feel a certain way about something.


What we can do is change how much we let that feeling(s) affect us. We can be in charge of how long we ride the roller coaster....or if we'll even get on in the first place. We can decide if we're willing to ride along with someone else on their roller coaster....or we can stand on the side and wait for their ride to be over! (This might be the safest choice!)


Having written all of that though, I also know that our brains can get clouded by depression, fear, anxiety.... where it feels like we have no control or choice of riding. We're just on it. Going up and down...maybe not as many ups. A little while is natural. We do what we can do with what we have. BUT if you feel like you will never get off the roller coaster and enjoy some days where feelings are not trying to rule your world? Talk to a friend. Talk to a doctor and make sure there is nothing mentally or physically wrong. A doctor once explained to me, medicine can make the highs not so high, but the lows not so low. 


One consolation? We don't have to ride the roller coaster alone. Even on our worst days, when we feel the most unlovable. God can be right there in the front seat with us. Putting life a little more in perspective. Helping us adjust our perception. Helping us realize those hills that look so frightening on the ground can help us learn how to deal with the stuff of life.....and enjoy the ride....on or off the roller coaster.

Jeremiah 31:27 “The days are coming,” declares the LORD, “when I will plant the kingdoms of Israel and Judah with the offspring of people and of animals. ²⁸ Just as I watched over them to uproot and tear down, and to overthrow, destroy and bring disaster, so I will watch over them to build and to plant,” declares the LORD.

What kind of loving God?

Occasionally, we have on Family Guy for a few minutes.....that's about how long it takes for something said to make me say, "Ugh! Change the channel!"  One of the most recent occasions appeared to be for  Christmas.  I should say "holiday" (which I am normally against), but in this case would fit better.  "Santa" took somebody through the workshop filled with deformed elves....and eventually said, "What kind of loving God would allow this to happen?"

That was my UGH moment.  Channel changed.  The thought and question lingered...and still does.  I know it does for a lot of people - and not about elves.  When things go badly in our own lives or the world, we are quick to question God...even if He was not a consideration before.  It becomes a convenient way of dodging the possibility of God.  A loving God would be more in control.  He would not let these things happen.  People get caught up in "religion" and the actions of people that may not be the best example of a believer.

Relationship is what God wants with us....not religion.  Often, God is referred to as a heavenly father.  This is hard for someone to picture if their earthly father is not a great example of love and kindness.  They let this taint their relationship with God.  The teenager/parents relationship remind me of this.  We want to do our own thing, but we want mom and dad there to clean up the messes we get in along the way.  We don't always want to be responsible for the choices we make.

We don't always consider seeking Him BEFORE we make a decision that could end up badly, but we are quick to place blame when it doesn't turn out as we'd hoped.

I think the "loving God" comments come from things we feel like we can't control and we feel that SOMEBODY should.  However, is that really true?  Did God decide to "genetically enhance" our foods and products?  Did God decide that women really don't need to be inconvenienced with a monthly period....so we'll just take some meds and skip it?  Did God decide to put up huge cell towers and create technology that can pull us further away or push us closer (depending on how it is used)? 

I could argue myself right into a corner.  I guess my point is that sometimes as humans, WE have DECIDED to "improve" upon God's plan.  Some of the improvements can prove hazardous to our health.  Is that God's fault or ours?  Does that mean He is not loving?

When you need to fight a battle, do you need Mr. Nice Guy OR do you need a knight in shining armor willing to lay down His life for yours?  When you screw up, do you need somebody that constantly reminds you of your mistake OR somebody that forgives you and loves you anyway?

We can be LOVED through anything that this life throws at us.  God promises us everlasting love.  Love that we don't have to earn.  We just have to be.  What kind of loving God does that?

Jeremiah 31:3 (Message)

God told them, "I've never quit loving you and never will.
   Expect love, love, and more love!

Isaiah 55:8-9 (NIV)

 ⁸ “For my thoughts are not your thoughts,
   neither are your ways my ways,”
            declares the LORD.
⁹ “As the heavens are higher than the earth,
   so are my ways higher than your ways
   and my thoughts than your thoughts

Finally found a way to describe it.....pain...and joy

Jeremiah 31:13 (NIV) Then maidens will dance and be glad, young men and old as well. I will turn their mourning into gladness; I will give them comfort and joy instead of sorrow.

Let's face it, sometimes OK maybe a lot of times, emotions suck (for lack of a better term). Especially the down ones. It is SO easy to get overwhelmed and let emotions and feelings run over logic that things will more than likely be better tomorrow. Sometimes a nap is necessary. I knew that things were starting to crowd in on me again. I've ignored it. Worked around it. Found other things to do....but the feelings nagged on. A lot of the sadness I've been feeling isn't really even MY sadness. I've been surrounded by things affecting other people that I feel sad about.....and in a round about way guilty because deep down I think I feel relieved it's not me going through it.

This evening I finally found a nice seat on some tree roots while hubby was out with kids in the boat. It was a nice area with trees all around and no houses. Not a lot of noise other than the occasional boat buzzing by. I enjoyed looking at rocks/pebbles and the varying shapes and colors and how firm they are. I finally let myself breathe and feel. And I found a good way to describe it......

At Michigan Adventure in the kids area or at most water parks, there is the big bucket of water that eventually tips and everybody standing under it gets wet. It takes a little while to fill (those constant feelings filling the bucket), the bell sounds (overwhelming feeling), and the bucket tips (the tears fall).

I also came to the conclusion that maybe we experience pain so we appreciate joy. Through the pain, we can remind ourselves that God IS STILL God, even in the middle of the darkest times. I once heard that when we go through fire, God doesn't leave us there and go wait on the other side. He walks through the fire with us.

Many times our pain does have purpose. Pain and sadness can bring people together to support each other. We can't always see the purpose at the time. A lot of times the purpose becomes clearer in hindsight.

May we not try to avoid or ignore pain, but be aware of how we can lean on God through it. Get past the emotion and on to the fact that we are loved beyond our imagination.

Psalm 46:10 "Be still, and know that I am God; I will be exalted among the nations, I will be exalted in the earth."