This was at the end of one of our Tuesday middle-school lunches. I had some time to think it over while I picked up crushed cereal pieces (ah-hem, ladies) off the floor. First of all, I felt honored that she chose to tell me. Next, I felt.....sad. Sad because I think how often have I not climbed the wall? Not just hers...but other walls as well. Sad to think that sometimes without meaning to I have built a wall and probably pushed someone away.
Sometimes when I come to lunch and lay out food, the girls swarm to the table like piranhas! Sometimes there are whines of "I didn't get any!" They move and the table is mostly empty. I think why do I do this? It takes time, it can get kind of expensive and would they even show up if there wasn't food?!?!?! That's kind of how I felt when I got there recently....and then I hear the girls start talking to each other. Then one or two talk to me and we get into some really serious concerns. Occasionally, I get hugs before they walk out the door...or one comes back for something and makes a little comment that may not seem like a big deal, but it is.
Everybody needs somebody that is willing to scale that wall. It may be a wall of hurt, pain, self-preservation or hiding from being close or letting someone else actually see the real princess (or the monster....depending on the day!) that lives behind that wall. How often have I tried once, not got over and given up?
As a parent, there have been days when I have been too tired, too complacent or too busy to attempt to climb my kid's wall. I need to stop making excuses. There are only so many days and ways that we will be given the chance to get over the wall our kids often build.
We can try to batter down the wall....and find another wall. We can try to climb over the wall, find it too difficult or time consuming....and give up. We can look for cracks in the wall. We can take time to build a ladder that will eventually let us see over the wall. We can hope to be lucky enough on some days to find the secret door and be asked in without having to climb over. THOSE are days to cherish!
I urge you to do whatever you can to see past, climb over, get through the wall even if it takes numerous tries. Our kids are SO worth it!
Since kids learn by example, take a look at yourself too. Do you have a wall your kids can't get over?
Hebrews 11:30 (NLT) It was by faith that the people of Israel marched around Jericho for seven days, and the walls came crashing down.
Pray and have faith that whatever walls you may encounter they can come crashing down....even if they have been there for years!
And we don't do it alone......
Ephesians 2:14-15 (NLT)
14 For Christ himself has brought peace to us. He united Jews and Gentiles into one people when, in his own body on the cross, he broke down the wall of hostility that separated us. 15 He did this by ending the system of law with its commandments and regulations. He made peace between Jews and Gentiles by creating in himself one new people from the two groups.