I Didn't Know

I recently attended a writers conference. I have wanted to go in previous years, but always found a reason (ie: excuse) why "now" wasn't a good time. I figured if I'm going to do it, do it well. I signed up for the extra night and a pre-conference session. The extra night was to make sure I was there on time and in the right frame of mind to focus on one thing. Life has not been about only one thing at a time, or seemingly about me, for quite awhile. 

My anxiety struck up as I got ready to leave that day. I'm almost ready to give her a name as she seems like a nit-picky, perfectionistic version of me I'm trying to get away from. "Why are you going to this BY YOURSELF? YOU don't like to go places where you don't know at LEAST one other person! Do you know how much other life stuff you have going on right now? WHY?" 

Why indeed. I slammed the door a bit harder than intended. Set my map app. Turned the radio louder to drown her out and drove away.

I was not alone for long. I found out that weekend was where I was supposed to be for that weekend. I don't think of myself as a writer. I think of myself as a person who likes to write now that I don't "have to". Our name tags listed our name as well as what we had entered on our registration. Mine said "devotionals/blogger". I made the mistake a few times of saying I "just" have a blog. I was reminded and encouraged that nothing is "just". Point taken. Learn to own it. "I am a writer" Take that, anxiety!

I sat with different people over the few days. Some had come alone. Some had come with friends. Many it was first-time attendance. Some had attended numerous years. I sat with an older couple. The wife referred to her husband as her boyfriend. So cute!. They shared they had recently celebrated their 60th wedding anniversary with their family. I didn't tell him that he reminded me of my dad. That would have made me cry. I sat with men and women younger and older than me. I listened as they shared why they were attending and some of their stories they were willing to share. I was able to encourage some. Many encouraged me a lot. 

I didn't realize until a few meals in that some of the people sitting at our tables were "in the industry" of writing: editors, publishers, authors, agents, presenters of the sessions. I was a bit intimidated when I made that little discovery. Why was I surprised though? They have to eat too! Anxiety snuck up again as I tried to replay conversations in my mind where I might have said something I shouldn't have to someone I shouldn't have. 

I learned a lot. The weekend ended. I came home. The feeling to write has nagged me. I made an online Facebook support group because I don't have time right now to meet in person. I "friended" some of the attendees. They "friended" me. Writing is really kind of lonely overall. Sharing what is in my head and heart is kind of overwhelming overall. 

How many times have I let what or who I didn't know get in my way? Is what we have written on our name tag as a job or how we would describe ourselves really what matters? It was a Christian writers conference. Would/Do people know that about me without seeing it on a name tag? 

I write this to remind me...and you....don't let what you don't know stop you. I was reminded of the verse: 

Hebrews 13:2 Do not forget to show hospitality to strangers, for by so doing some people have shown hospitality to angels without knowing it.

and then I found verse 6: 

So we say with confidence,“The Lord is my helper; I will not be afraid. What can mere mortals do to me?”

To those who shared hospitality with me: thank you for being an angel when I needed one. My new name tag: mere mortal/writer

Life's Better with......

a friend, family and support.


I like watching people.  Not in a creepy stalker kind of way.  ;)  Just how people interact with each other.  I especially love when I'm in a crowd and I see somebody walk around kind of aimlessly, but you can tell he or she is looking for someone.  Then the person looked for is spotted, a smile, a wave, maybe a hug....and life continues on.

Recently, I brought our daughter to school in the AM.  Usually, she kind of drags herself out of the car.  I rarely get a smile.  However, on this particular morning the car that pulled in ahead of us was one of her friends.  Her friend got out of the car and waited.  Daughter got out of car much more energetically, with a huge smile and quickly they walked together up the sidewalk into school.  Much better start to the day.

Monday, I met up with my sister and her boys at the mall.  I was spotted by one of my nephews pretty quickly.  I waved.  He ran toward me with his arms outstretched like you see people running across a field toward each other.  I smiled.  I had to stop part of the way in because as he picked up speed he probably would have knocked me over!  I got an awesome hug.  Then her youngest came up and gave me a hug...and his hand to continue walking toward where my sister was.  I even got a smaller hug from the oldest.  I felt loved and I smile even as I write this.  What a great way to start out the week!

We've had a lot going on lately.  Not necessarily bad stuff, but stuff that has kept us busy, distracted, and unable to work toward the things we'd like to have had done awhile ago.  Through medical tests, etc. I have discovered again the issues that stress can cause.  It seems so simple to just try and say I'll have less stress or let if affect me less.  ha.  I don't even know if that is possible anymore in the world that we live in.  Time seems to go by faster and faster.  We have "time-saving" devices that do not always assist us in wisely using the time we've "saved".

One of the doctors I went to asked if I had a good "support network".  And I do.  I have friends and family that are willing to talk with me and walk with me through the good, bad, sad, happy....you name it, they are there.  Reaching out and up are sometimes the last things I want to do.  Relying on God and my support network do not make me stress less.....but they are what makes life better. 

Praying that you have friends, family and a support network.  Praying that you realize sometimes you will be the support network for somebody else.  Praying that your life will be better so you can help somebody else have a better life.

Psalm 94 17-19 Unless the LORD had given me help, I would soon have dwelt in the silence of death.
When I said, “My foot is slipping,” your unfailing love, LORD, supported me.  When anxiety was great within me, your consolation brought me joy.