Automatic?

Recently, while waving my wet hand frantically under an "automatic" paper towel dispenser, a thought hit me. This was after I had waved said hands in a dizzying pattern trying to get the sink faucet to "automatically" dispense water to wash hands. This was after I had made my way from a stall where the toilet decided to "automatically" flush almost as soon as I stood up! This is opposed to the times where the toilet sometimes deceptively looks automatic or I wait or move around enough to make sure said toilet flushes before I remove myself from the stall. I would hate to leave a mess for someone else! side note: I have noticed everyone is not as worried about leaving a mess.

Maybe this is the reason for all the automation? If the item is cleaning itself, there SHOULD be less for a human to do, correct? Maybe that's the point of automation.....less work. AND for the most part? It usually accomplishes the task(s).

However, has our dependence on automation become a little too......automatic? Things that used to take SO much time and maybe even require a walk to get done (dishes, laundry)? Now we have dishwashers, washers, dryers and yes, even sinks, hand driers and toilets. In the whole scheme of life, therefore, we should have MORE time, right? I don't know about you, but I don't FEEL like I have more time.

Back to my epiphany at the paper towel dispenser: Is my faith becoming automatic too?

Lately, life has been even more busy than the "normal" busy I had kind of adjusted to. I haven't been to a church service in awhile. I have not written in my journal or on my blog. I have not opened my Bible. I have not said more than sentence prayers when things are not going as well as I think they should be going. I talk to others about life issues instead of going to God. I have gotten used to thinking that God will just automatically know what I need, when I need it and the best time to make that all happen.

I'm not hiding my frustration very well as I frantically keep trying to do life on my own. I don't have to find the secret pattern to make this work better. I don't have to wait. I don't have to handle my mess on my own. Neither do you.

Check your faith. Are you where you want to be? Time to take a little responsibility back and start working on that relationship! May we get to the point where turning to God first and our dependence becomes....automatic.

Isaiah 30:15-17 MSG [ God Takes the Time to Do Everything Right ] 

God, the Master, The Holy of Israel, has this solemn counsel: “Your salvation requires you to turn back to me and stop your silly efforts to save yourselves. Your strength will come from settling down in complete dependence on me— The very thing you’ve been unwilling to do.

2 Timothy 1:7 (NLT)

For God has not given us a spirit of fear and timidity, but of power, love, and self-discipline.

Two Steps

We often hear 2 steps forward, 1 step back. Life can sure feel that way. We make progress only to find that we have not moved as far as we thought....or we're moving in a different direction...or maybe, we're dancing!

However, when there are issues with walking, two steps can be the difference between getting around easily and having difficulty getting to where you want to go.

Our mom has had a leg brace and her "special" shoe to get around for quite awhile now. She is often in more pain than she lets on. The porch where she enters the house has....2 steps. She has been handling them with the grace that we know and love her for. It might take a little while, but she has made it up and down. There have been days where she needs to wait a bit to get her hip to coordinate with her legs to get her up the steps. There are days where those two steps probably look and feel like 10.

Recently, our dad reached out for help (this is a step in itself!) to help mom. There was a ramp installed that allows a much easier up and down! The ramp goes right up AND OVER the two steps providing a much smoother way in and out of the house.

Sometimes we focus on the two steps and stop. Sometimes we muddle through and do whatever we have to do to get up those steps. Sometimes we have assistance to make moving up the two steps easier. Sometimes we are blessed with people that see the problem, have a way to fix it....and they do.

So, what are your two steps? Are you going to let them stop you? Find someone to help you get up and over? Dance? Your choice. Make it.

Psalm 37:23-24 (NIV)
The Lord makes firm the steps
of the one who delights in him;

though he may stumble, he will not fall,
for the Lord upholds him with his hand.

Job 23:11  (NIV)
My feet have closely followed his steps;
I have kept to his way without turning aside.

cancer

cancer
How I loathe thy name.
Cells that split,
dividing
into good and bad.
Cells like soldiers
sent to fight
divided
into red
and white
An invisible enemy
except on a scan.
You try to invade
my body
my thoughts
my mind
Try to take over
My spirit says FIGHT!
My body says how?
My body betrays me
sickened by poisons
meant to heal
soon
But now?
pain
hair loss
reddened skin
My family tries to support
People whisper when I walk into a room
cancer
you may win the battle
But I,
I will win the war.

kl 5/12/16
After dad's melanoma back and father-in-law died last August
They were both diagnosed the last few months of 2014. Drs., Surgeries. Frustration, more Drs.
Refusing to use a big "c" trying to give it less power than it already feels like it has

PLEASE go with your gut. If something seems wrong, get yourself checked out. It is better to be wrong than sorry.

http://www.skincancer.org/skin-cancer-information/melanoma

How's Your Day?

"How's your day?" asks the teller at the bank oh so casually. She was busy processing my transaction. She hadn't really glanced up or she probably would have noticed the teary look on my face. Or maybe she would have thought I always looked like that. She doesn't know me. It was my first time at that branch. Even a teller at my own "home" branch probably wouldn't have noticed. I pride (?) myself on thinking I hide my feelings so well. HA! I'm discovering I am only fooling myself. I have a horrible poker face. Emotions on sleeve. Check.

"How's your day?" SUCH a loaded question. Is he/she just making pleasant conversation? (Probably) Does the person asking REALLY want to know? (At a bank? Probably not) Do you answer truthfully? (Crappy thanks. And you?) Just say fine to get it out of the way and get the business you need done? (Just take my money and move on. No need to be pleasant!) Answer back almost parrot-like, "how's YOUR day?" (tempting.....)

Quite honestly, today was NOT the greatest day. I honestly answered after I hesitated a bit...."I've had better" to say fine would have been lying....mostly to myself.

I have had better. I have also had worse. I am not usually so honest with a stranger. I am not even usually that honest with myself! My mind repeats....fine, fine, fine. My heart goes....not so much, not so much.

When the not so fine, I've had better days are few and far between, I feel like I at least have a grip on life. When those days are coming closer and closer together, like they have been lately? Oh, the grip is not quite so tight. The smile is not quite so forth-coming. The tears are much closer to the surface and sometimes even spill out.

However? I am beginning to realize that the way of handling those days is much more important than how I answer the question.

There will always be something that can turn even the best day quickly into what seems like frustration overdrive.

Having a less than stellar day? Try some of the following:

Acknowledge - If it sucks? Say so. Even if it is only admitting it to yourself.

Better - There WILL be better day(s). It may not be today or the next day, but take your better whenever and however you can....even if it comes in increments and not the whole day.

Grateful - Find something, ANYTHING to be grateful for!

Laugh - Find a way to stretch those smile muscles.

Strength - When you feel weak, borrow somebody else's strength until you feel yours coming back.

Ice Cream - When all else fails, do what you gotta do. Get sprinkles. Everything's better with sprinkles.

**Nudges - Pay attention to the nudges. If you feel like you are supposed to take a little extra time to do some praying, devotions, etc? DO IT. I'm finding out this is God's way of providing that extra strength I'll need....before I know I need it.

**That nudge this AM made this an "I've had better" day instead of a curl up in a fetal position in bed day when I made it home.

Romans 8:37-39 (NIV) No, in all these things we are more than conquerors through him who loved us. For I am convinced that neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither the present nor the future, nor any powers, neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord.

Give Up!

I believe we are born to be fighters, not quitters....not giver uppers.

Give people a cause to get behind, and we don't give up even when the outcome looks bleak.

In sports, players/individuals go to the last 10th of a second....giving it their all, pouring it on....to cross the finish line, to score a point, to make a goal, to beat their own best time.

I think that is why my thought process to give up is so counter intuitive to my very nature. Probably yours too. That may be where many of our problems stem from.

In the past, I have been much better at feeling in tune with God. Those are also the times that I was having a time of devotions sometime during the day. I was reading the Bible. I was listening. I prayed more...not just sentence, "help me" prayers. I danced and sang to praise music. I went to church. I took time to be close to God and, more importantly, to let Him be close to me.

Recently, I can feel myself slipping. I don't take as much time to just be in God's presence. I rely more on ME than on HIM. This has not turned out well in the past. Maybe it seems so temporarily, but then LIFE starts to creep up and get the better of me....and I am reminded....again. Still?

God is not pushy. He waits patiently, often on the sidelines because that is where we PUT Him. God doesn't just want to be a cheerleader, there to encourage us. He wants to be IN the game. The captain even.

God wants me to give up. Not give up on myself, but to let Him in to deal with some of the life stuff that is just TOO heavy to carry on my own! Oh....I've been trying. Not very successfully, when I'm honest with myself. Honestly, we can be our own worst enemy when we try to be honest. I can put on a nice smile. I can sound like I'm doing all the "right" things and God feels far away. GOD DIDN'T MOVE!

Are you ready to give up?

Isaiah 41:13 (NIV)
For I am the Lord your God
who takes hold of your right hand
and says to you, Do not fear;
I will help you.

1 Corinthians 15:58 (NIV) Therefore, my dear brothers and sisters, stand firm. Let nothing move you. Always give yourselves fully to the work of the Lord, because you know that your labor in the Lord is not in vain.