Life and death in music

We have gotten used to synthesized and auto tuned music. I even "heard" back up singers that were not there because of a plugged in device that multiplied/harmonized a (singular) singer's voice. I only knew this because I was at a concert and it was explained and demonstrated. Wow! It was awesome, but really hit home the point that what we hear may not always match up with what we see if we are watching music being played.

I have had a thought when I SEE music being played, especially recently. There is something different about watching music being played: a band (marching or otherwise), a symphony, a concert, etc. and just hearing it played as a movie backdrop or on the radio.

The thing I notice though is that while watching music being played, I NOTICE more if an instrument is missing during a certain section OR I NOTICE an instrument being played. I may not know the name of it, but I see it being played and can pick out the sound or lack of.

Music. The tempo of our lives. People. The instruments that play along with us in our own personal symphonies.

One of our family's favorite movies has become Mr Holland's Opus for numerous reasons. It is about a teacher by default as music isn't paying the bills. Along the way, Mr. Holland finds out he loves teaching more than he ever thought he would. The music is used to show the passage of time and is almost a character of the movie. The movie has mentions of John Lennon (Husband is a fan of all things Beatles!). There are really good references to history. Throughout the movie, Mr. Holland is always working on a piece of music that could make him rich, famous or possibly both. In the end, he wasn't rich or famous outside of his little town. His family, friends and students were his Opus and they were the music of his life.

In the plot of the movie, I see how this finally tied all together for me. The instruments of our own life symphony are those closest to us. We (most of the time) play well together and make beautiful music. Sometimes more often than we'd like, we hit sour notes....but continue on. Sometimes we lose a member of the band we've formed. Sometimes it is temporary. Sometimes it is permanent. And the beat goes on. But differently.
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It has been 2 weeks since husband's dad passed away. Our beat is out of sync. We're learning to live without one of our musicians. More difficult than thought prior. :(
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1 Chronicles 15:16 (NIV) David told the leaders of the Levites to appoint their fellow Levites as musicians to make a joyful sound with musical instruments: lyres, harps and cymbals.

2 Chronicles 5:13 (NIV) The trumpeters and musicians joined in unison to give praise and thanks to the Lord. Accompanied by trumpets, cymbals and other instruments, the singers raised their voices in praise to the Lord and sang: “He is good; his love endures forever.” Then the temple of the Lord was filled with the cloud,

Psalm 57:7 (NIV) My heart, O God, is steadfast, my heart is steadfast; I will sing and make music.

Psalm 98:4 (NIV)  Shout for joy to the Lord, all the earth, burst into jubilant song with music;

Psalm 108:1 (NIV) My heart, O God, is steadfast; I will sing and make music with all my soul.

Tears

Hubby and I are journeying on a new road as of Sunday. We have been married 26+ years. We have experienced highs and lows. Sometimes in the opposite order. Sometimes for extended periods of time. We have experienced the joys of our children, the miscarriage of a child, the death of grandparents and pets that have felt like family members, but not until Sunday have we experienced the death of one of our parents.

We are so grateful that at the ages we are that we have been blessed to have all of our parents for as long as we have. We know many children that have not been able to have parents in their lives as long. We know parents that miss their children and that ALWAYS seems way too early.

Sometimes death creeps up unexpectedly or comes crashing into our lives quickly.We were blessed to have some warning so that we had time to take for some special memories to be created and later remembered. We had a chance to say I love you, goodbye and we'll see you again someday. We know too often that we always think there will be a next day and then one day, there isn't.

I'm sure, eventually, we will find a new normal. BUT right now, there are tears. Happy and sad.

There will be tears that will be accompanied by laughter because we will remember one of the many times we shared laughter or near the end, an eye roll when words just couldn't (or shouldn't) be said at that time.

There will be tears that will tear our heart apart.

There will be tears when we pick up the phone to call and we realize we can still talk just in a different way.

There will be tears that fall down our face like gentle rain and tears that will gush like a waterfall just because.

There will be tears of sadness as a memory crosses our mind and we realize there will be no more new memories. They will become tears of gladness as we realize we are grateful for the memories we have.

There will be tears as we realize that there will be others that will pass and we don't know when or how and we don't know how we will even begin to handle all of that. There will be tears as we realize it is a blessing to not need to know the future it is enough to know WHO holds our futures.

There will be a day when the tears don't come as often. We'll be able to mention and talk about our loved one with less tears and we will smile at the memories and thoughts that they bring to mind.

Life will never be the same, but our lives are changed because of the time we had together and eventually we will smile through the tears.

John 11:35 (NIV) Jesus wept.

Psalm 126:5-6 (NLT) Those who plant in tears will harvest with shouts of joy.They weep as they go to plant their seed, but they sing as they return with the harvest.

Revelation 21:4 (NIV) ‘He will wipe every tear from their eyes. There will be no more death or mourning or crying or pain, for the old order of things has passed away.”

Necklaces

Necklaces, lovely to look at. Necklaces can be a piece of art. Necklaces can enhance our wardrobe. As long as they are put away properly, necklaces can be a great source of beauty.

BUT

Maybe one gets in a hurry. Instead of hanging the necklaces nicely in a jewelry box, the necklaces get jumbled up, knotted and, in general, causing a big problem. Especially when the ONE necklace you REALLY want to wear is right in the middle of the jumbled up knot! Of course, by the time one adds the final piece of jewelry before leaving the house, time has already flown by and the necklace is grabbed almost as an afterthought. The jumbled knot is discovered. Time continues to tick. Try to undo the knots? Pick another necklace? Go necklaceless? ;(

Emotions and thoughts, lovely to feel (sometimes), can be expressed through art, can enhance our outlook on life. As long as handled properly, emotions and thoughts can bring a great source of fulfillment.

BUT

Maybe one gets a little bit too much of life thrown at them. Instead of handling emotions and thoughts as they come up, they get pushed down or aside, making us feel knotted up inside and, in general, causing a big problem. Especially when that ONE event you REALLY DON'T want to deal with is right in the middle of the jumbled up knot! Of course, by the time one realizes the emotions and thoughts are heading downhill, time has already flown by and the skills we have learned to deal with them are remembered almost as an afterthought. The jumbled feelings are becoming overwhelming. Time continues to tick. Try to handle on our own? Get some help? Go emotionless? :(

Kind of a silly comparison, but sometimes what life feels like sometimes, doesn't it? The necklaces are just a visual of what our heads and hearts can feel like sometimes. A way to give a picture to the feelings. When thought of like this, maybe we can even feel like we can have a bit of control over what feels like will control us. When we take a bit of time hanging up necklaces (self-care), there is a much less chance of the necklaces ending up all knotted up and in a jumbled mess (feeling like our emotions and thoughts are controlling us!)

Find what works best for you. Use what works. Have a plan in place that when you feel overwhelmed, you can know what to do without having to add more stress. Phone, text or e-mail a friend. Write in a journal. Pray. Read the Bible. Talk to God. Listen for answers.

We don't have to wait for our lives to feel like a jumbled up, knotted mess. We can start using some of those things ahead of time to strengthen us for when we can't control the knots.

Wear your necklaces, thoughts and emotions. DON'T let them wear you out.They are meant to be shared. YOU have something worth sharing. Keep that jewelry box in your head and heart knot-free. Hugs, my friends.

30 Proverbs 14:30 (MSG) 
A sound mind makes for a robust body, but runaway emotions corrode the bones.

Isaiah 55:8 (NIV)

“For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways,” declares the Lord.

Psalm 139:2 (NIV) You know when I sit and when I rise; you perceive my thoughts from afar.

Philippians 4:8 (NIV) Finally, brothers and sisters, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things.

Feeling selfish

When I finally woke up today, I felt a bit blue. Our family has a lot of stuff going on. Everybody does. It would be very easy to just stay in bed, pull the covers up over my head and just have a good cry. Easier, in fact, then getting up and doing the things I know need to get done on a Saturday. I'm even home to do them. Just not really feeling like it. My heart knows not to let my emotions rule. My head sometimes wants to just go back to bed. So, instead I'll write.

I also know that when I take time, even just a few minutes, to acknowledge and spend time with God it is never time wasted. I always learn something. I always feel better when I do. Sometimes I think God will be disappointed that He wasn't my first way of dealing with issues. I'm more disappointed in myself than He ever is.

I got out my Women of Faith Devotional Bible. I read a few different passages. I realized in the front there are different topics....Grace. Liberty. Hope. Joy. Faith. Love. Forgiveness. Truth. Purpose. Peace. Healing. Sovereignty. The one I am most interested in currently is healing. Mainly because cancer has come to visit our family circle again. Maybe even still. Is it ever really gone once cancer has showed itself? The person with a diagnosis seems to handle it better than the rest of us.

The passage I chose to read is in Revelation. The end, the last book of the Bible. (A fleeting thought goes through my head: Is this the end of life as we've known it?) I read Revelation 22:1-6
The River of Life
 And he showed me a pure river of water of life, clear as crystal, proceeding from the throne of God and of the Lamb. In the middle of its street, and on either side of the river, was the tree of life, which bore twelve fruits, each tree yielding its fruit every month. The leaves of the tree were for the healing of the nations. And there shall be no more curse, but the throne of God and of the Lamb shall be in it, and His servants shall serve Him. They shall see His face, and His name shall be on their foreheads. There shall be no night there: They need no lamp nor light of the sun, for the Lord God gives them light. And they shall reign forever and ever.

When compared to life as we know it here on Earth, the river of life sounds pretty promising. Heaven sounds like a FAR better place than here. I start to feel a bit selfish. I know what I/our family wants to have happen. We want to keep our family member(s) here as long as we can. I feel thankful that we have been able to have our parents with us as long as we have. I know there are children that do not get to have their parents around as long. I know there are parents who have not been able to have their child with them near long enough if at all.

No matter what our future holds, I will remain sure that while our days here are numbered we are blessed to be able to be in each other's lives. I believe that God promises a "new heaven and a new earth" (Rev. 21:1) and Revelation 21:4-5 And God will wipe away every tear from their eyes; there shall be no more death, nor sorrow, nor crying. There shall be no more pain, for the former things have passed away.” Then He who sat on the throne said, “Behold, I make all things new.”

In an effort of not being selfish with good news, I urge you to consider a relationship with God. Not religion. Relationship. God wants the best for you. I do too.

Now....to get to that laundry. Do One Thing, Do One Next Thing

Like Me

I put off writing. I put off lots of things. Things that I know will make life better. IF I would just take the time to slow down, be less busy. Things like taking some quiet time and listening to what God has to say to me. Things like praying more. Reading the Bible more. I KNOW what I need to do. I just don't do it. OR I find other things to do, ways to waste time. I don't WANT to waste time. At least I don't think I do. But I do.

If I had a friend that only spent time with me or talked to me when they needed something, I dare say I'd be rather ticked off.

If I had family that I do everything for and they choose not to love me, I would be hurt.

If I wrote letters to those that claim to love me and they don't read them, I might wonder why do I bother?

If I watched a person make choices on spending their time and money in ways that are harmful to them, I would think I would do whatever I had to do to get their attention.

....and there it is. I would be ticked off, hurt, wonder why I bother, try to get attention. Life is not about "I" or "me". When we try to do life on our own, we make it SO much more difficult than it has to be.

God has pointed out to me in numerous ways over my life that He cares about the tiniest details of my life. Things I don't even bother to tell my closest family and dearest friends because it doesn't seem relevant or a big enough deal,

I think that may be part of the issue I'm dealing with lately. Too often I think God is like me. I totally forget that I am created in HIS image. He is NOT created in mine.

He will still listen to me. Even when, especially when, it has been too long.

He will still do everything for me and love me even when I don't acknowledge it right away and maybe not ever.

His words are still in that love letter of the Bible waiting for me to read what I need to hear when I need to hear it.

He knows that I have made choices on using my time and the blessings He has provided in ways that are not the best use of dwindling resources.

He will get my attention. One way or another. He likes me. He loves me. Exactly because He is NOT like me. I am like Him. I can be. He made me and you to be the very best versions of us we can be. WE are the ones that try to find ways to explain things to make us feel better. He already knows. The parts we hide from everyone else. He knows AND loves us anyway.

So are you ready to start getting back to where we need to be? Like me?

Genesis 1:27 (NIV) So God created mankind in his own image, in the image of God he created them;
male and female he created them.

2 Corinthians 3:18 (NIV) And we all, who with unveiled faces contemplate the Lord’s glory, are being transformed into his image with ever-increasing glory, which comes from the Lord, who is the Spirit.