Friday, July 13, 2012

Pieces of Heart

I am so concerned for teens and the relationships that come into their lives. So many of them are looking for a boyfriend/girlfriend relationship. School and, hopefully, we as parents give them information regarding "safe" sex and relationships. However, I think we concentrate too much on the sex and not enough on the relationship. Our kids are smarter than that. If we give them info, I truly believe they can be wise enough to use it when needed.

Parents: Talk to your kid BEFORE they are involved with someone. By the time they are "in" a relationship, it won't matter as much what you say.

Urge your teenager to make a list of qualities they would like in another person. The best time to do this is BEFORE they are involved with somebody. This makes it much easier to see if someone really meets your qualifications before you get all tingly. ;)

Talk to them about rules regarding your house. Rules are not always the same at someone else's house. Tell them no matter whose house they're at, no closed doors. Even better, not being alone together. A lot of things happen just because temptation is always there if it is just the two of you. There is a lot to be said about group dates for teens that seem to be dating younger and younger.

Let your kids talk to you....even if it is embarrassing for them and you. It is better for them to get correct information from you....then wrong information from other sources.

A little bit of prep work will help the heartache later.

TV shows sex with little or no consequences. Movies like Friends With Benefits assume that people can have sex and not include the emotional aspects or complications that come from sex in uncommitted relationships.

I had read about a demonstration with paper hearts that shows the effects of sex on relationships. So I brought some construction paper and glue to school on one of our lunch Tuesdays.

We cut or ripped out hearts from 2 colors of paper. (You need 2 colors to see the after effect)  We glued the hearts together. Ideally, we would have left them together longer, but I think my friends still got the point. I told them some of the things mentioned above and then had them pull the hearts apart.

Before                                                                             After

The point was/is that when sex is introduced into a relationship no matter what happens, a piece of that person will go with you.....always. Sometimes it can make it hard to leave a relationship you might not have stayed in if you had not gotten physical. Sometimes you make a baby you didn't plan on. That's not fair to you....or the baby.

One of the things I used to tell my youth group kids is that there is no condom big enough to protect your heart. So much for "safe" sex.

Proverbs 4:23 (NLT) Guard your heart above all else, for it determines the course of your life.

1 comment:

jummyd57 said...

If I could do it again I would spend less time telling them about the bad things that happen if you become sexually active (pregnancy, STD, broken heart). I would focus more on the benefits and joy of saving the sexual relationship for marriage, the mystery of becoming one flesh, and how much better sex can be when it is enjoyed inside of marriage.